Ani Avedissian

ani symbol

Energy Healer, Spiritual Teacher, Paranormal Activity Specialist

Ani's Media Channels

Hey Peeps! There's something for everyone on my media channels.
You can watch me on


I didn't incarnate to be popular, to trend or to be fashionable.
I came down to share information that is valuable.

Deconstructed Christmas

While Santa parks his rig upon the roof
Ani prepares a quaint Christmas spoof.

The Sacred Season deserves its own channel.
We need room for the Wise Men and also the camels!


Metaphysical Martini

Metaphysical Martini, with its loyal following of Martini Heads, is where the Holy Spirit meets top quality distilled spirits.

Ani answers your questions, pontificates on current events, discusses philosophy, resurrects obscure mystics, shares her limited talent for silly poetry and does whatever else she pleases, ending the show with the recipe to the ever popular cocktail of the day.

Sassy...but always classy.

Water Wisdom

Are you confused by New Age terminology?

Would you like to know what's true, what's woo and what get flushed down the loo?

Let Ani Avedissian provide clarity with a dose of hilarity. In Water Wisdom, a series of short videos each lasting about three minutes, Ani hits the main points on popular New Age subjects such as Akashic Records, meditation and karma. A little intellectual stimulation without too much over-simplification. Enjoy!

Cosmic Quickies

Are you a spiritual activist with a short attention span?

Why not try a Cosmic Quickie? They're short. They're sweet. They're full of buttery goodness and, best of all, satisfaction is guaranteed in about two minutes or less.

The best cure for a world drenched in psychosis, is a good dose of working class gnosis. Send your cultural conditioning on reassignment while you explore cosmic alignment.

Does it get any better than this? I think not. Enjoy!

Zook Speaks!

Zook, a tiny pink alien, first came to planet Earth over 7,500 years ago to help build a stone circle in a land known nowadays as Armenia. Since that time, and for the sole purpose of helping humans with cosmic and spiritual alignment, he has made over fifteen trips, each visit lasting approximately two hundred years.

While he does make the odd landing on Earth's surface, mainly in Wales and Oregon, his primary objective is to orbit in his space ship, Jelly Bean, and to beam love, wisdom and compassion.

It's not always easy. Humans are certainly a stubborn race and easily distracted but he perseveres because he would love to see mankind awaken and join the Universal Fellowship of Source Aligned Planets.

He hopes you enjoy his weekly words of wisdom, guidance and inter-stellar tidbits!

Really Bad (but occasionally brilliant) Poetry from a Mad Shaman

"Really Bad (but occasionally brilliant) Poetry from a Mad Shaman" is a random collection of Ani's thoughts. What else would you expect from a sassy, straight-shooting, politically non-correct spiritual teacher?

Yes folks, after careful consideration, I have decided to share the warped contents of my creative mind with the world. Who needs Shakespeare and literary prowess when you can have Cosmic Ani and a whole lot less?

Some of my poems are serious.
Some of my poems are sassy.
Some are downright mysterious
And some are delectably classy.

I hope you enjoy my sweet medley
And take pleasure in fanciful rhymes.
I hope you don't view them as deadly
But as comments on interesting times.

The Patriot Rap

When I came to live in this country over thirty years ago, I did so legally. I applied for my Green Card in London and waited two years until I was approved. The greater part of the approval process was vetting my ideology.

"Miss Avedissian, are you a communist?" "No Sir, I most definitely am not." That wasn't the end of it. I was asked that question one hundred ways from Sunday. No way was I getting a Green Card if I had communist affiliations - and quite right too!

Today, as I write this, America, the country I love beyond any words that can be spoken or sung, is on the brink of a Marxist takeover. What pains me more than anything is that the people who voted for it don't even know that they voted for it. That's what happens when you let mainstream do the thinking for you.

I would rather die than live under NWO and since I have no intention of dying any time soon, I advise girding your loins! 2021 is going to make 2020 look like a dress rehearsal for a really bad amateur theater society.

Together we can prevent the destruction of this great country and reverse the erosion of our collective intellect. Please step away from partisan affiliations. Both parties are in the can. Deep State owned them all - until team Trump came along and pointed out the cesspool of corruption that passes for government. God Bless America.

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